Thursday, November 30, 2006
The day after Thanksgiving started the holiday shopping season. Of course, we had to start quite early because this year, Hanukkah's early... starts December 15. So I made my list over Thanksgiving and started my shopping.
Maybe it's my age or something. But while I was selecting gifts for some of my loved ones living far away, I had the conscious thought that for some of these gifts, I will never get thanked. I will actually never even know if the gifts arrived. I'll buy them, wrap them, take them to the post office, and stand in line... just does not seem right. So I started to question myself... why am I purchasing these gifts?
Of course, I do it because gift-giving is mostly about the giver. I feel good about myself for remembering these more-removed relations. With the families flung so far apart, we don't see each other except at weddings and funerals. Once a year, I think of them and where they're at in life and what they might enjoy. And once a year -- even for a moment when the paper gets ripped open -- they'll think of me too. That's good enough for me. Sort of.
It would be better still if the gift prompted an email or a phone call. Just to say, thanks for thinking of my kids again this year. Hope your family is well. We're doing fine.
Should I let the non-thanking bother me? I like to think that my gifts are given without strings... but the ones that never get acknowledged just hang out there. Sort of like saying I love you to someone, and having them give you that blank stare in return...
10 comments:
People can get lazy - I know because I can admit that I am one of those people... Although not with presents, just with letter writing and the like.
Maybe enclosing some stamped self-addressed envelopes for them as a present, or part there-of would encourage them?
Well, I say don't send them anymore. I mean, what are they gonna do, call you to ask where the presents are? To which you could respond, "they never seemed to get to you before either, so I stopped sending them." They could at least CALL, right?
You have kids, you work, your time is limited. Don't spend your time running around, wrapping and sending out gifts for people who can't even be bothered to thank you for them. Just spend the time with little people who are undoubtedly always begging for more time with you!
Maybe I'm a Scrooge though.....
I'm with Kelly. You are spending too much time on them. Are they sending you or the kids presents? If not, then forget 'em. If so, send them gift cards.
Yeah... I know I should forget about them. No they don't send our kids gifts... I hate to punish the kids because the parents are idiots...
Shel, are they little kids, or are they over say 13? Two words: GIFT CARDS. No waiting in lines at the post office to mail those! Or if you must buy them an actual thing, why don't you order something online that has free shipping? (like LLBean) Then at least you don't waste your time in any lines!
Why don't you call them (off peak hours) like a week after the presents are supposed to get there and just say, "I haven't heard anything from you yet about receiving my gifts, did you get them?" When they say yes, then you say, "Okay, I just wanted to make sure. I'd hate to send something and it not get there."
I'm all for the scrooge thing...
Nah they're little kids.
I like Ali's suggestion to call a week later and ask if the gift ever got there. It's a perfectly reasonable reason to call, and it reminds them that they're being an ass.
Personally, I don't exchange with anyone except for family any more because of limited cash and time. Everyone seems to understand. I have one girlfriend who gives us stuff every year despite the fact that (even though I thank her profusely) I've told her that I can't afford to buy for her and her three kids. So there is this induced guilt every year that I really don't want. But she insists that she's giving them to us because she really likes to shop and give. Okay, cool. And it's a good thing it's not really NICE stuff (it's all crap, really) or I'd feel REALLY bad.
By the way, Shel, Baxter is STILL wearing that red snowflake sweater you got for him years ago for Christmas, and Gavin's wearing his grey one, too. Gavin is ready to grow into Bax's now though considering Baxter can get his on, but it just about pops his head off to get it off! Talk about a multi-year present though, eh?!? I think you sent those sweaters to us in '02!
I love that sweater, I still remember it! It's so rare to see interesting boy clothes, that was one of the rare finds I think.
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