OH GOOD, A DIVERSION

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Saw a newscast that soft lunchboxes like the ones my kids use, may contain 500x the safe levels of lead. But only ones that come from China. How many can that be?

Checked the kids' lunchboxes. MADE IN CHINA!

There are only 3 motivating forces for Jews.

1. The reminder of past guilt. (e.g. That thing you did, ruined my life.)
2. Guilt. (e.g. It continues to plague me daily.)
3. The promise of future guilt. (e.g. I will never get over it.)

This thing hits all 3.

Add this to the fact that this particular guilt includes the act of having made food for someone else (the hallmark of any Jewish mom, and I don't do it that often, so I pack a lot of identity into those school lunches)... and the threat of cancer... this is now a five star crisis in our house.

Despite the cataclysmic nature of this news bulletin, the lady at Walgreens had no idea what I was foaming up about. (Her kids buy lunch at school.) So I found home lead test kit on the Internet and ordered it, so that we can test the lunchboxes for lead. (And I even ordered extra in case one proved inconclusive or we accidentally break the sterile field or some crazy thing.)

An hour later I thought to check where the lead test kits come from. EEGADS, Made in China! Does anyone smell a conspiracy here besides me?

Then found lead test kits made in Canada and changed my order. Top exports in Canada:

1. Molson Golden
2. Lumber
3. Fuel
4. Hockey equipment
5. Sheepishness

So I'm not sure they can really be trusted to test lead levels, but at least you don't have the clear conflict of interest as with the ones made in China.

We're breaking out the paper bags temporarily. Of course it might already be too late, and they'll have 6 eyes and 12 limbs by middle school. Guilt guilt guilt.