MINUTES FOR MEDALZZZZZZ

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Tonight Sarah got a gold medal for reading... which means that between October and February she read over 2,000 minutes! That's a lot of books.

I have been up since 4 in the morning panicking over some work. So I started to feel a little woozy when I sat down in the hot gym and the teacher started reading names. Names names names. Then they started playing chamber music - I felt like we were at a funeral? Oh trying to stay awake.

Then when we went back to the car I nearly fell into a bush. And I was so tired that I actually said out loud, "Help help I am going to fall into a bush!" And Sarah laughed evilly. She has a mean sense of humor sometimes. Must come from the other side of the family.

POOPING IN A SHRINE

The landscapers are done. It's been 15 weeks of living in tracked-in dirt, strange men in the yard at all hours, mud rivers with all the rain we've had, and having to go outside with the dogs every time they need to go because we had the fence ripped out and they neeeeed to smell the strange men and give them a piece of their mind.

At the beginning of the project, we approved an estimate. We paid as we went, and of course made modifications as we went. We figured that we were paying for those modifications as we went along with the original estimate.

We thought wrong.

At the end of the job, the landscaper informed us of our overages. Which totalled nearly 50% of what we had already paid! We were speechless! Speechless transcends even the language barrier.

It does look absolutely gorgeous. People slow down to take in our house. I'll take some pictures, it's like something out of a magazine. Meanwhile, we're reeling from the bill.

There are several ways in which my life philosophy differs from Don's. One is in the area of finance. This is a very bad subject in which to have a fundamental difference with one's spouse. The other is travel... I never really worry about being lost in a foreign country with no money, for example, because I feel people are basically good and will get me back where I belong. Don feels people are basically out for their own interest and don't care if I rot in a Turkish prison. But I digress.

My view of money, generally, is that it is like hair. You have a bad haircut, you recover. You cut off too much, it will grow back. Don's view of money is that it is like hair. If you lose too much, you will never get it back, and then you will either have to join the Hair Club for Men or wear a toupee or a comb-over or suffer some other humiliating fate.

"Well, look on the bright side."

"hmph?"

"It looks amazing. We will enjoy it thoroughly. It will help resale."

"hmph." (drinks martini in 1 gulp)

"Are you ok?"

"hmph."

The dogs are happier about the development, so I talk to them mostly.

"Do you have to go out? Do you? Good boys."

"rawf! rawf!"
(which means, THANK YOU Mommy, whom we adore and respect, for planting the lush green grass for us to pee upon like the canine kings that we are. THANK YOU for the bird feeder which gives us something at which to bark our heads off early in the morning and wake the neighbors. You are indeed a beautiful person. Can we sniff your butt?)

NO READING BETWEEN THE LINES HERE

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Never blog photos of your 10-year-old making a silly face. Apparently it embarrasses them.

CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: YUP. IT'S FRENCH.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Last night we took the kids to see Cirque du Soleil. I have never been - I suppose, like the Blue Man Group, I am just now catching up to things that were hot 10 years ago when I had a baby and dropped out of "cool" society to change diapers.

(was I ever really in "cool" society... this is another topic for another time)

Anyway, I have been kind of a sickie and had loaded up on meds beforehand and actually only had a bowl of soup and was feeling kind of sorry for myself because my head hurt soooo much during dinner...

So the Cirque, which is kind of odd to begin with, unfolded kind of like a Nyquil dream. In fact, it wasn't too far off from that dream I had in September (see September 07 post INTERPRETATIONS WELCOME), except with more spinning people and death.


Yes. Death! The theme for this production was about the process of dying, remembering one's life, and passing from one state to the next. Only the French could take the concept of a circus and make it about death.

Aside from reminding me that I really don't care for the French and that I was kinda sick, it really was a spectacle. The music was outstanding - meds/I only realized that it was live halfway through and it sounded so good and flawless that I really did think it was prerecorded. The kids were mesmerized by it... after intermission, Becca was flipped out and ecstatic to hear there was actually MORE coming! Sarah's favorite part was watching the female midget cast member float around the audience, as she was attached to some big balloons, and audience members got to bop her around like a beach ball while she giggled. YES IT IS like a Nyquil dream - and you have to again detest the French for forcing you to enjoy degrading midgets.

All in all, well spent. Though now I worry that Becca thinks it's a good idea to hang from a chandelier...

VOTER PARALYSIS?

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

For those of you who are voting soon and whose candidate has already dropped out of the primary race, it can be tough to choose a stand-in! This is fun AND it will help you:

http://glassbooth.org/

OFF

Saturday, February 09, 2008

I went to the chiropractor yesterday. He told me my blood was off and my lymphatics were poor and now I have to take extra iron and fish oil.

I don't know what all this means. I think it means I'm a Californian.

WINTER BECCA

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

So last winter, Becca found cat sheers at a Hanukah gathering we attended and cut her hair and earned herself a mullet for the winter. This year we have a bob.

I am not sure why Becca wants to cut her hair in the winter. Don't people usually try to grow extra hair to keep warm?

She did this in school under the watchful eye of a substitute teacher, using safety scissors, after she turned her tights into leggings. Actually very fashion-forward, everyone agreed the leggings looked very hip. But this is not the point. The principal called to apologize that Becca was able to get so far in her self-styling. I suppose she expected me to be much more upset than I was.

(Before = what she did to herself. After = stylist helped us fix it)

Back: Before................................. Back: After.

Front: Before.................................Front: After.

"Becca?"

"Yes momma."

"When you picked up the scissors, did you know that I would be angry that you cut your own hair? AGAIN?"

"Yes momma."

"Then WHY did you do it?!?"

"Because I wanted short hair."

And that's what she got, all right.

WERD UP YO

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

WHALEY HOUSE AKA I AM DUMB

Monday, February 04, 2008

I made this New Years Resolution. It's a good one: once a month, we will go someplace in California we've never been.

So we were going to drive out to Joshua Tree National Park. But we had a pretty big storm that weekend and we didn't want to chance coming back in sheets of driving rain. So we decided to find some new-place-we'd-never-been closer to our backyard.

We found Whaley House. A historic site in Old Town, and one of the most haunted houses in America.

http://whaleyhouse.org/ghostly.htm

It was built on the site where they kept the gallows. And it's been featured on many TV programs and is the subject of tons of paranormal study.

Perhaps you are already thinking that THIS is what I mean when I say "I am dumb". I mean, DUH I took 2 little kids to a documented haunted house. But that's not the dumb part.

Let's just keep in mind that I DO NOT LEARN certain lessons in life. I think I have to blame this on my dad. He used to do things for his own enjoyment, even if they got him into trouble.

So when we got to Whaley House, we flipped through a book of photographs people had taken of "ghosts." Many of them looked like flash feedback or reflections, to tell the truth. I'm sure it's possible the place is haunted, but the photos were sort of just for fun.

While we were walking around, I noticed that the way the light was streaming through the windows, filtered reflections could be captured that looked like the photos in the book.

Excited, I said, "looooook, Becca, you were by a ghooooost, wooooooo."

And so that night, everyone slept in my bed. Sigh. Note to self: DO NOT TORTURE THE CHILDREN...

RANDOM CATCH-UP

So it's been a blur... back to school, illnesses, signing up 2 new clients and interviewing tons of people so we can expand, landscapers... blah.

Had a cyst removed mid-month, among other fun things. Becca is the only one in the family not grossed-out by the stitches, so she's dressing my wounds. A 5 year old is dressing my wounds. So if you hear of me coming down with a staph infection, you'll know why.

Gizmo went in for teeth cleaning a couple weeks ago and now has a swollen eye. I guess when your head is shaped like a lemon, things get moved around/your teeth are too close to your eyes? Dunno. Between the two of us, we look like we are from the Island of Misfit Toys.

Be that as it may, I did manage to drag myself through a 5K - my first! And I only wiped out once during the race (meaning, I tripped over DIRT and fell on my face). Look at these cute moms. Aren't they just so cool? Go moms go.

Everyone other than perhaps Gizmo and me are fine. Sarah has a big report due in a couple weeks and some math tests coming up so she's looking woeful and pitiful and sans entertainment of any type except for pencil sharpening (which can be interesting, I've found, depending on the color of the pencil/shavings are cool).

Don is at an HOA meeting getting in everyone's bidniss. They like him at work and he's billing lots of hours. Good cuz I need patio furniture.

Becca entertained everyone at Temple the other day by welcoming them to the Coffee House. You can see she took her hostess duties quite seriously. One older gentleman asked her, "so what is there to do in the Coffee House?" And she answered, "Well, you can... have a coffee. You can sit. Read something. And you can perhaps use the bathroom, if you need." If you know Becca and can imagine her tone of voice and gesturing about the room, you can imagine how funny this was.

I will post a little later about our adventure at the Whaley House.