SURFING IS HARD

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Ever since we landed in San Diego, I knew that some day, we would try surfing. And why not? Mice can do it. Babies can do it. Gidget did it.



When you talk to the typical adult in San Diego and tell them enthusiastically about your plans to take up surfing, they say one of two things:

• are ya crazy?
• I tried that once... (and then there is a terrible story about wiping out and swallowing the whole ocean and slicing a foot open)

Still, these reactions did nothing to temper my desire to take part in what is surely a defining vibe of San Diego. Dude.

So Sarah and I went to Camp Surf with the Girl Scouts. We got ourselves wetsuits. We prepared outselves to get out there with all the other brave moms and daughters and surf instructors and life guards.

Problem #1. There is a moment when you have to go from a prone position to standing in 1 move. This will never happen. No Edelman can do this move. Our centers of gravity are too low.

Problem #2: You must surf in the ocean. The waves come from nowhere. You have to react quickly. See problem #1.

Problem #3: If you don't hold the surf board exactly right, when the waves come, the surf board will fly into the air and whack you on the nose.

Sarah tried surfing exactly 1 time. She got sucked under and swallowed half the ocean. She promptly declared herself Done With Surfing and went to boogie board.

I tried surfing quite a bit. Because I am a moron and cannot accept my own limitations and was temporarily in denial of Problem #1. I swallowed the other half of the ocean and was whacked by the board several times. After the board whacked me so hard I saw stars, I thought it might be time to stop for the time being. I then joined Sarah boogie boarding. That I can do. You lay down and hold on, basically. I can lay down.

The other moms sat on the shore in canvas chairs and read Cosmo. And toasted me with their Diet Cokes.