I AM SO TOTALLY REMISS

Friday, January 19, 2007

So last week, my friend Allison turned 40. According to the website party411.com, a typical 40-year-old birthday party might be themed:

• The Big Four-Oh (how is this a theme, not sure)


• Luau


• 60s/70s Flashback


• Casino

You get the picture. In my case I believe I had a nice meal, thought about going to a spa and didn't (because I had 2 puppies, a 2-year-old, etc.), took a phone call from my mother that went something like "I can't believe I am old enough to have a 40-year-old daughter", and went to bed early.

In Allison's case, she manifested her love for construction equipment into a party theme. She rented a steam roller, trenchplates, and then smashed all the stuff we brought in lieu of gifts. We brought a blow-up figure from the painting "The Scream," an obnoxious dancing and singing birthday cake, and Becca's old car seat (which is completely indestructible). The best thing was the crushing of a number 40 made out of 40 cans of whipped cream... I have never seen people back up so quickly in my life.

I am not sure this party actually needed a theme, thinking back on it. The guests were colorful enough. I sat next to Gay Spencer, who decided he hated his tablemate Melissa. They ended up reminding me of some characters from Will & Grace. At one point I think a guy named Lumpy came to break it up. I am still unclear on this part of the evening.

Later I read Spencer's website and he took on even more dimensions of gayness than I even thought. There should be a box you have to check to certify you are over 18 before reading that thing.

The evening wound up with about 20 40+ adults splayed across a bed trying to get a photo taken with everyone in it. I think we need to write a note to party411.com and tell them about this party theme, because at the end of this, I am not sure anyone actually felt 40+.