THERE SHOULD BE TROPHIES

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Someone should invent Iron Man: Relocation. Because it really is a sort of steeling triathelon.

The first heat is Box Hauling. To qualify, you must be able to lift twice your weight in household items in a badly taped cardboard box. The event takes 2 straight days during which you cannot eat or pee.

The second event is Power Organizing. Typically, this is my strongest event, but when it’s staged after Box Hauling, somehow, it’s so much harder. Power Organizing entails checking and rechecking 1,000 tiny details that must happen in a certain order. If it’s not done right, you’ll sell the wrong household items, not have help when you need it, and pay to relocate garbage. It’s complicated by the fact that during relocation, life – school, work, and social events – doesn’t stop. Social events can be the most unwieldy part of this heat, because when people realize they have a deadline for which they can either have seen you “one last time” or missed you altogether, there is a sudden flurry of engagements.

The last event is Travel Hurdles. This involves some aspects of Box Hauling (because there is somehow a lot to take on the plane, even though a moving truck, UPS, and a husband in a car have taken a significant amount), and also some aspects of Power Organizing. But all of it has to be done on an airline’s schedules under its rules, which removes the sense of control you had during the first 2 legs of the journey.

If this were a true competition, I don't think I would have placed, but I did finish.