MASTER HEALER OF THE UNIVERSE

Saturday, July 28, 2007

tell me What Ails You, my child

(and I will pull your hair so that you forget about That Thing)

When I was in Sedona a couple weeks ago, I forgot to tell you all, one night as entertainment they brought in a palm reader.

I told her I would like to start taking better care of myself and she advised me to stop showering in tap water right away. So I have been showering in Diet Coke. I'm not sure it's helping.

She told me that Don has "cycles" and that I need to chart his moods on a lunar map. Yes I am getting right on top of that.

She also said that Becca is very powerful and a master healer of the universe. I find this very dubious, unless the world really needs to be rid of all its snails, Archie did something in a past life to deserve having his ears pulled, and Sarah will be made better by having her headbands stolen.

I told her I would like Becca to be the master wiper after bathroom use... but she was not humored. I don't think you can ask the divine spirit for something that big.

As for Sarah, she said that Sarah is okay wherever she goes as long as there is someone or something to be in charge of. Lucky guess? I'm still showering in Diet Coke, just in case...