Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Don't you ever wonder how birds can hearlessly and abruptly shove the baby birds out of the nest? What if they don't fly? What if they aren't ready? But yet, grown birds instinctively eject their young, and the offspring instinctively take flight.
We human beings aren't so deft in our management of our kids. In fact, I would postulate that the more educated and more prepared we and our kids are... the more afraid we are to toss them out of the nest. Funny that.
Until 6th grade camp, Sarah's never spent more than a sleepover night away from us, just a couple of blocks away so we could go and fetch her if she couldn't sleep. Even at 6th grade camp, she knew every face she encountered, so it wasn't so strange to be away.
But this summer, we sent Sarah to camp in Palo Alto for 10 days. We fell in love with the Supercamp program - and no matter how I try and describe this camp to people, it sounds like nerd camp. Even in the video below, it really does look like sitting around and studying.
Sarah wanted to go. Then all of a sudden, she DREADED going. That's when I knew she had to go - to a place without 1 single person she knew, so far away we could never come and rescue her.
Truly, kids say they have a transformative experience at Supercamp. The combination of learning skills, life skills, independence, and social issue exploration is profound for them.
When we retrieved Sarah 10 days later, the same kid that didn't want to go now didn't want to leave - in fact, she bawled her eyes out for half a day. I asked Sarah what she really took away from camp, she thought for a minute and said, "Well, I learned that everyone gets rejected, every day, all the time. So not to dwell on it when someone rejects me. And that if I want to do something, I shouldn't let my fimage get in the way."
(fimage is a camp term for "fear of image." Self-consciousness holds us back from 80% of the experiences that pass us by in life.)
"And I learned how to speed read."
Seriously, I want to go to this camp. And Sarah wants to go back next year - a testament to the positive force they crammed into these kids every minute. After all, there are no swimming pools, horses, TVs, movie theaters, field trips, or other distractions. There are only self explorations.
I read about the Outdoor Adventure Day in the camp materials - the kids don harnesses and walk tightropes. The exercises are meant to help them realize how far they can push themselves. But Sarah is never one to take bodily risk - she still prefers the baby roller coaster. So I figured she would be on the sidelines helping and cheering on her friends - which they totally encourage and don't force anyone.
Anyway, that night I was still awake when the camp posted the daily pictures online (a modern-day phenomenon) at midnight - and I nearly fell out of bed when I saw photos of Sarah! In the harness! Climbing up a 20 foot pole! There was nobody else awake in the house to share this jubilant moment - not even Gizmo. Through the miracle of Facebook, I was able to virtual high five with several Midwestern insomniac friends - I will never forget what I felt in that moment for my baby, for whom I have felt love, anger, fear, disappointment, gratitude, pride, empathy, friendship, and so many other things...
In that moment I added one. Respect.
Music: Hero by Mariah Carey
We celebrated Becca's 7th birthday at Disneyland! Because the Disney people are evil genius marketers. They pay for your kid to get in free when it's their birthday. You pay for everyone else in your group to get in, and then you proceed to get your kid anything they want all day. Because it's their birthday!
