TALENTED AIN'T THEY?
Friday, May 16, 2008
Sarah's drawings, Becca's math. Becca can ADD! This is crazy - since when do kindergarteners learn to add? And Sarah is a more talented artist than I ever was.ZOMBIE
Thursday, May 15, 2008
OK if anyone knows of some experiment that pays people a lot of money to study what stress does to the human body, let me know, because I think I could easily be a subject.
Last week I only worked 70 hours and I felt like I was working part time. That's stupid.
So I did get hypnotized by my friend Chuck. What is really odd about this:
- Who the hell gets hypnotized? This is so West Coast.
- Chuck is a board certified hypnotherapist. Who on earth sits on this board? I bet if I told anyone at the AMA this, they would laugh till they vomited.
- It's hard to keep your concentration when someone you know is saying "now think about your eyelids. feeeeel them relaahhhhhxing. they are sooooo heaaaavyyyy."
- Now sometimes at the weirdest moments, Chuck's voice pops into my head and tells me to do things. I don't remember a lot of the session, but it's funny how at some random moment I will hear Chuck say: "now get up and walk around. See how much better you feel when you jusssstttt... take a breaaaaak."
I'm going to start posting things now... here's something I think my friend Melissa sent me. Or my sister-in-law Linda. Or I got it along with a Viagra ad in my spam folder. Whatever - it reminded me of Becca.
HOGWARTS CALIFORNIA
Saturday, May 03, 2008
So just a few days after the discovery of bats - there was much commotion over a snake.
Don was painting our fence and I was gardening - and there it was, curled up by the air conditioners. Beeeehhhhh. I blurted out "SNAKE!!!" Which I believe is what 50% of people probably say first (other option is a swear word)
The snake picked up its tail and shook it. Which did not make me feel too good. Beeehhh open toed shoes. (don't know why open toed shoes + gardening)
By then Archie and Eddie had heard me say SNAKE and came to see what I was up to. They were quite happy, I believe they thought I said "STEAK!!!" Being a city slicker and not really knowing what kind of snake this was, what with all the tail shaking and everything, I ushered them into the house, where the kids were playing.
Upon hearing that there could be a poisonous snake in the yard - their instinct was to go out there and take a look? I worry about their long-term survival. After scolding them for bad thinking and commanding they stay inside, I went to get Don.
Who was also wearing open-toed shoes (don't know why open toed shoes + painting)
He grabbed a broom and went to see the snake and scolded ME for bad thinking and commanded me to stay inside. Hey! I'm 43. I can hang out with the snake, right?!
No, I got yelled at again.
A few minutes later, I went to check to see if Don wanted closed-toed shoes. Because I'm Jewish, and in an emergency, it's important to be properly dressed. I mean, if I have to call 911, what's the first thing the firemen are going to say to me...
Don had the broom in the air ninja-style. The air conditioning pads, lawn mower, and trash cans were lined up like Stonehenge. I thought better of asking anything and went back inside.
Sarah was already Googling the snake, which Don thought was a baby rattlesnake because of its size and all that tail-shaking. But come to find out it's an alameda whipsnake. A threatened species.
By the time we found THAT out, it had been decapitated and flung onto the slope outside our fence. We all feel a little guilty now. But how does one know?!?
Well, it's a learning experience. I am hoping for some eye of newt to pop up soon, then we can take the snake carcass and make a potion at dusk with the bats or something... I'll have to go to Cauldrons R Us for some supplies...