WHY I HAVE TO WORK

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Should I throw away my copy of the movie "Ice Princess"? On the front it depicts the heroine's tranformation from brainy studying machine (aka she looks like a slovenly nerd) to ice skating champion (aka she is wearing a tight skating outfit and a full face of makeup), and the copy says "From scholastic to fantastic!" Why is being scholastic not fantastic?

Then I am looking at all the beer commercials during football (big night, Bears versus Packers AND Chargers game)... and all the men look like disheveled idiots who have not showered for days and yet they are dating hot but nice women. What is wrong with this picture???

What is the most wrong with this picture is that if I didn't work, I would start overthinking everything in the house!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

For your entertainment pleasure, here is Becca singing her version of Star Spangled Banner. Here are the words so you can sing along: Oh, say can you see by the dungaree light? Where so proudly we sailed and so gallantly streaming. Oh say does that spangled Oh wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year!

WHY DOESN'T ANYONE ELSE THINK THIS IS UNSAVORY?

Saddam Hussein was sentenced to death by hanging, a sentence that was carried out 2 days ago. This is unremarkable in and of itself... but I have to admit, seeing photographs and video of a man - regardless of the horrors he inflicted on others - with a noose around his neck! And then in a body bag! Those images are terrifying! Not that we don't see similar images all the time, as a nation addicted to shows like CSI and Law & Order... but this was a real person!

You might say, well, Iraq is a different society. Images like that are more commonplace in a war zone so they think nothing of filming an execution. But nobody in America is complaining about seeing those images either! Why not?

Even the Mafia doesn't require physical proof of a hit. To date, we are taught that such public spectacles are at best uncivilized, and more likely cruel. I can think of only one other person who required the satisfaction of seeing her rival physically dead:

And she isn't a real person!

FUN TIMES OVER WINTER BREAK

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

More close encounters of the Becca kind.

SATURDAY NAH-HAIGHT!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Becca's self-styled Bay City Rollers hairdo (with her buddy, Sophia, who has a haircut from the current decade)
Becca's at it again.

We were at a party on Saturday night, and Becca found the cat sheers on their steps. Why were there cat sheers on the steps, you ask? Well. I don't exactly know. All I know is that I should have guessed that Becca had found something Off Limits, because we had not heard a peep from her or anyone who could potentially rat her out, for a good 20 minutes during this party.

At any rate, she decided that it might be a good time for a haircut. So Becca gave herself a mullet. She now looks like one of the Bay City Rollers. (remember them? S-A-TUR-DAY! NIGHT!)

She went to an ENT this week, who pulled a quarter-inch of wax out of each ear. That might explain why she can't hear us sometimes! Becca said "Dee-sgusting!" Apparently even the doctor agreed. Remember when Shrek pulled that ear wax out and made a candle out of it? Well, it's not that far fetched.

She's an oddity, this one.

VERDICT #2

The Hanukkah party was a great success! I think we had 50 - 60 people in and out. Our neighbors and friends met and people liked each other. The football game was on, but nobody really even watched it. Everyone was too busy with the dreidels (ok mostly with the chocolate gelt... next year I have to put it somewhere other than eye-level for 2-year-olds) and the bloody mary's and the jelly donuts.

I had to drive to Escondido for latkes... Trader Joe's had sold out of them within a 20-mile viscinity of any Jewish people. But honestly Don's addition to the party - White Castle burgers - were the biggest hit!

Next year I gotta get the Pin the Shield on Judah going... ran out of time to construct it, but it is a damned fine idea.

VERDICT #1

In the matter of the State of California versus Shawn Smith, we found the defendant guilty of simple battery and not guilty of false imprisonment and obstructing a police report.

It took us 3x longer to deliberate on the case than it took the attorneys to present it. The only evidence was the police testimony and the alleged victim's testimony, and she just kept saying "I can't remember" because she didn't want her boyfriend to get in trouble. So it was really hard to figure out the "facts"! On top of that, half the deliberations were just convincing the other jurors to do what they had promised to do at the very beginning of service:

1. Keep their own life experiences out of the deliberations. One guy said, "well if THAT's battery then I should be in jail many times over!" OK I'm scared!
2. Not consider punishment when deciding guilt or innocence. 2 of the jurors decided that the prosecutor was just harrassing this guy, who had "suffered enough" just from being arrested and processed! Even though according to the law, he did commit a crime!
3. READ the law! There were people who refused to open up their juror packets! At one point I actually couldn't take it anymore and opened a guy's packet for him and said READ IT.

One guy told me I was very smart and "made a lot of sense", but because I was a woman I could never be effective in swaying him. It was an exercise in persuasion... as someone who persuades others for a living, it was fascinating to see the limits of my personal influence.

All in all, it was a very interesting few days, though I really could not afford the time away from work and had to work at night and during the lunch hours as a result. I would recommend it to everyone... don't try to get out of your service, it's a great experience and reminds you of what a populace-driven system of government we have.

JUROR #6

Friday, December 15, 2006

Can it get any crazier around here? I showed up for my day at jury duty... and got SELECTED to be on a jury. How the heck did THAT happen... other than the fact that compared to all the other people, I seem fairly reasonable?! Can I add one more thing to my plate!!! How am I going to finish my work and have a houseful of people on Sunday?! Where are the Tums?

OH LORDY!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Got Sarah's report card. 2 As, a B, and... 2 C's?! What happened to our high-fives in the Lisle 3rd grade parking lot?! My helicopter mom instincts are on full tilt.

We expected math to be a problem... she's still learning 3rd grade concepts because of our surfer dude teacher from the latter half of last year. But reading and language? She should be able to bring that one up, easy.

THE SURVIVALIST STRIKES AGAIN

Monday, December 11, 2006

After I landed in New Jersey, I called Don. You know, to see what was up.

He had been on the phone with Poison Control. Apparently Becca had a sore throat, so she decided to take some medicine. Being the self-sufficient gal she is, she climbed onto the bathroom counter, opened the medicine cabinet, figured out which bottle was hers (the Children's Motrin), undid the "childproof" cap, and glugged down half a bottle.

Apparently someone Becca's size would have to drink 2 bottles of Motrin for it to be toxic... nonetheless she did barf a lot and scared the pants off poor Don.

CRUNCH TIME

All of a sudden, work has picked up tremendously -- I'm off to Jersey trying to win a new client at the moment. We are giving a big-ass Hanukkah party on Sunday. Sarah has a ton of homework. Hanukkah starts in a few days and Christmas slightly after... there's gotta be cards and gifts and parties. Is there enough time in the day for it all?

WHY CALIFORNIANS ARE "LAID BACK"

Friday, December 01, 2006

I think I understand now why Californians seem a little disconnected and slow. (or maybe, they have just always seemed that way to me....)

In the Midwest, we were always trying to stay one step ahead of the weather. Summer's only 8 or 10 weeks long, really, so you had to hurry up and get your fill of outdoors. Fall's only a few short weeks, and really the leaves peak after 2 weeks... gotta go before it's over. Gotta clean the gutters before snow sets in. Shovel before more snow comes. Switch out the wardrobes before it gets too cold. Or too hot. Or too something.

And getting to work was an adventure in survival... an hour-plus of seeing your breath, fighting wind so hard it knocks out your hearing, and trying to conserve energy.

It just doesn't happen here. It's hard to tell the weeks and the months apart. It's dark by 5, and some mornings start with frost. Other than that... the earth seems the same. There is no great need to savor this beautiful day, because one just like it is coming. It's like living in suspended animation, floating through time. It's enough to make anyone lose track of reality.

IT'S WINTER SOMEPLACE

Chicago:

San Diego: