Thursday, August 31, 2006
I finally went to the DMV the other day and took my drivers license test. I am egregiously late... you are supposed to make yourself known to the DMV within 10 days of arriving in California. So I messed up by, what, 36 weeks?
Nonetheless, in all of 30 minutes, the last evidence of my Illinois residency has been officially abolished, and a shiny new California drivers license is on its way in the mail.
When moving to California, it's very important to study the driving laws book before the exam. I mean, who really remembers whether the speed limit is 10, 15, or 20 miles an hour by a train crossing? Also, you might find some of the answers counterintuitive if you happened to be used to driving in another state. For example, try this one.
You are driving on a 2-way street. On your left, there is a steady stream of oncoming traffic. On your right, there is a row of parked cars. You should:
A - Aim right down the middle of your side of the street.
B - Pull over until all traffic clears.
C - Swear at those bastards! The nerve of them to be driving toward you! This is what horns are for!
D - Turn around and go with the flow.
E - Take whatever action you must to avoid the black ice, the cop, and the pothole.
F - Could you repeat the question?
If you answered A to the above question, you have carefully read the California Driving Laws book.
B: you are from St. Louis
C: you are from New York
D: you are from San Diego
E: you are from Chicago
F: you are from L.A.
As well, I could not help but notice that the California driving laws don't take into account specific San Diegan behavior. For example, the California Driving Laws book states that you should never exceed the posted speed limit, but also, that it can be dangerous to drive at a far slower rate than the rest of the traffic. Clearly the writers have not driven on I-5 in San Diego, where the slow lane drives 80.
Finally, there were absolutely no rules in the book about the perils of badly-tied surf boards hanging off of pickup trucks and VW Bus roofs.
Perhaps this explains why I passed by the skin of my teeth...